No doubt Messrs Baigent and Leigh will discern the hand of some gigantic conspiracy in all this; the truth is that they have made idiots of themselves.

The Grouchogandhi Timeline of Holy Blood, Holy Grail

• 1985 - Gg first doses on HBHG and imprints Jesus/Magdalen using The Illuminatus! Trilogy subculture circuit filter
  
• 1987 - Gg's second dose inspires deeper research for travel plans; Fringe culture BBS's endlessly discuss HBHG theories
  
• 1988 - Eco's Foucault's Pendulum published, HBHG imprinting affirmed
  
• 1989 - Gg buys just-published English translation of FP, begins backpacking Europe-style and uses HBHG as tour guide to visit Rennes-le-Chateau
  
• 1990 to Present - Gg begins obsessive study of the Knights Templar, Cathars, Crusade and Papal history, Early Church history, Biblical Archaeology Review, Arab-islamic history, Freemasonry, the Founding Fathers, Solomon's Temple, the Sephiroth, Ark of the Covenant, alchemy and, of course, R.E.M.
  

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Dan Brown has just successfully obtained a unique license to manifest Holy Grails! As you've already likely heard, the bizarre copyright infringement lawsuit brought by authors Baigent and Leigh claiming their book The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail had been stolen by Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code and they wanted satisfaction, damnit! ...and they lost not only the case, but their credibility. They did win a rather large legal bill for their troubles. Justice after all!

First, let's see, your classic conspiracy book is cited in just about every history of the Crusades, you made Knights Templar fashionable again and you inspired a cottage industry. Secondly, books sales are way up in secondary marketing, your theory is popular culture all over the world and you decide your brilliant marketing move is to go totally discredit yourselves and sue. Two strikes! Well, at least the hometown fans have your back. And, still, your new book, The Jesus Papers, is getting all kinds of press! And, yet, the Grail slips away again not before cursing B & L's respectability.

Behold! The Grail has passed to the adept hands of Dan Brown. Now, we'll see some real marketing. And with these, he can annoint kings. As The Da Vinci Code movie marketing engine starts up for the film's now-cleared May release, Brown is back writing through his first book since The Da Vinci Code's astounding success: The Solomon Key. If you're a researcher and want some cash flow on your properties, a Brown citing will be huge.

The Solomon Key. Hmmm, that title has a familiar ring to it, let's see... could it be something related to authors Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas's The Hiram Key. Don't hear them complaining, do you? Of course not, they're rational. They're actual Freemasons, after all. And as rumors swirl the next book will involve Freemasonry and Masonic decipherings throughout Washington, DC city planning and architecture, there's a pre-publish cottage industry popping up. There's a new genre congealing. Meeting on the Square and being On the Level and all that. Welcome to the party, pink boys! Housewives will be debating Hiram Abiff and mothers will be naming children Boaz and Jachin. Will no one help the Widow's Son?

And yet, how far do the connections reach??? Now revealed and confirmed as the Fisherking, Dan Brown lords over a money-making realm blessed with many grails and dollar signs.

Dollar signs. $$$ Huh, another Masonic symbol. We'll discuss more about that later.

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FACT:

Gg was convinced Foucault's Pendulum was some weird PKD-mindtrick specifically directed to influence the Digitarians.

Dan Brown | Da Vinci Code
Holy Blood, Holy Grail | Conspiracy

Delivered unto you by Grouchogandhi precisely at 1:03:00 AM